The Real Hero of Election Night 2016
This past Friday, NBA analyst Nate Duncan opted to “well actually” one of the most viscerally exciting plays of the season when he tweeted, “Anthony Edwards all over Twitter tonight with the dunk of the year. He also has 7 points on 3/14 shooting, 0/7 on 3s.” Thousands proceeded to rightfully roast him for being, as Bomani Jones so astutely put it, “a herb.”
Outside of the questionable tweet, Duncan’s body of work deserves credit. He identified a gap in the market and served his audience everything from daily recap podcasts to mock offseason podcasts to CBA flash cards that help wannabe GMs memorize the definitions of “Bird Rights” and “Non-Taxpayer Mid-Level Exception.” He is well-informed and puts an unfathomable amount of time into providing his audience with in-depth podcasts and live tweets and commentary. He appeals to the new breed of NBA follower who sees players as assets and efficiency as paramount. He is one of, if not the favorite source of information for the type of humorless fan who watches Allen Iverson highlights and scoffs at his blatant disregard for effective field goal percentage.
Duncan often uses his Twitter feed to comment live on each evening’s slate of NBA games. For someone so obsessed with efficiency, Duncan sure does fire off a lot of tweets. On one night in particular, November 8, 2016, his Twitter feed stood out more than usual. That’s because, on the evening Donald J. Trump was elected the 45th President of these United States of America, Nate Duncan pressed send on 106 tweets. While some tangentially addressed the election (mostly in response to people asking him why he felt it was necessary on that night, or any night, really, to tweet about an Andrew Wiggins missed layup jumpstarting a Nets fastbreak), the rest commented on rotational decisions and the minutiae of PnR coverage in the night’s six games.
For those of you unfortunate souls who couldn’t experience this in real-time, I’ve done my best to replicate the night Nate Duncan kept playing as the proverbial ship went down, the fateful evening when Nate Dunc’d On the mainstream media and provided the election coverage the American people truly deserved, the few hours when Nate Made Analytics Great Again.
6:05 PM CST: The AP calls Indiana and Kentucky for Trump, and Vermont for Clinton. The results are as predicted and not at all contested. Meanwhile, Nate Duncan ignores the AP and hones in on a different, more problematic ruling:
6:15 PM CST: Across the country, Americans hunker down for what is sure to be a long and emotional night. Nate is just warming up.
6:16 CST: Early returns indicate that pollsters underestimated “shy” white voters and their impact on the night’s events. Not Nate. His trained eye spots the white influence’s importance in the vastness between the coasts:
6:24 PM CST: The night is shaping up to be a vindication for overlooked, overmatched white men.
6:27 PM CST: Even representatives from our closest democratic allies are powerless to assist.
6:37 EST: The sharpest pundits are already beginning to question a lack of aggression in the campaign’s closing moments in the Midwest:
7:03 PM EST: Some analytics experts are noting that the night’s unexpected results are not a deviation from what they predicted, but rather just one of many outcomes in the spectrum of possibilities:
7:26 PM CST: The talking heads on the major news channels are not providing the people with the coverage they desire:
7:42 PM CST The establishment begins talking themselves, and others, into the increasing likelihood of a Trump presidency:
7:46 PM CST: The evening’s anomalous results continue, forcing the nation to accept that scenarios outside of the fat part of the bell curve are still possible:
8:04 PM CST: Sensing a sea change, an influential Saudi attempts to endear himself to the man establishing himself in the post:
8:23 PM CST: Forced to acknowledge their role in Trump’s potential rise to power, the media gets snippy and defensive:
8:44 PM CST: With the result still very much in question, there is already a shift in everyday language to the more violent and extreme. And we love it:
11:41 CST: The Hawks aren’t the only ones able to pull off a big win in Ohio that night, as the AP calls the state for Trump. He is also declared the victor in Florida and North Carolina. Many around the country are giving up hope and packing their bags for Canada. But not Nate, who bravely forges on:
12:33 CST: Trump wins Utah and Iowa. The returns are indicating that traditional polling tactics are not properly quantifying voters’ true sentiments:
1:39 AM CST: Trump clinches Pennsylvania, and is ahead in Arizona, Michigan, and Wisconsin. He is almost assuredly the next president of the United States. For many, the night ends in disappointment, as their “can’t miss” prospect fails to capitalize on layup after layup after layup after layup:
Fin
